My daughter asked the only question that matters

It was a scary night. Rain that didn't stop. (Literally flooded the basement.) Thunder that rattled the windows. Lightning every few seconds. Wind that bent the trees sideways.

The next morning, I opened my daughter's blinds.

She walked to the window and froze. Then she turned back to me, eyes wide.

"Oh no."

"Why did God knock down the tree?"

The big one across the road. Gone.

A classic Dad moment. The fastball came in faster than I could read it. But I had to swing.

So I swung.

"That's a great question. You are going to come back to this question a lot. There are a lot of things in life we will ask this about. That's why we have to stay curious."

She turned back to the window. I stood behind her, looking at the empty space where a tree used to be. My answer did not fill the void or give her closure to this upsetting moment.

Family business is loaded with disappointment. It's disappointment after disappointment.

That's life. That's business. That's family.

As the Buddha said: life is suffering.

And so, as family business leaders, we find ourselves asking the same question my daughter did. Why?

• Why, God, is my uncle acting like this?

• Why, God, is my business struggling this week, month or year?

• Why, God, is that employee asleep to their own actions?

• Why, God, is the trust I help steward such a point of contention?

• Why, God, did my parents treat me so unfairly as a kid?

Sitting with the why is healthy. For me, it's the act of leaning into the fear.

It leads to growth. It leads to stronger conviction in faith. It leads to deeper resolve to push forward.

As we've talked about in previous weeks: the obstacle is the way.

As stewards, we must have faith. And it's okay to doubt and question that faith along the way. Our family needs us to zoom out. It’s part of our job to find meaning and create context to take steps forward even when its hard. Even when things fall down that are not supposed to fall down. 

Disappointment is going to happen. It's going to happen over and over and over. It’s not about avoiding disappointment. It’s about responding to disappointment.

We must respond. We get this one little moment on earth.

I find solace in knowing the challenges put upon us are never too great. There is a plan. Life is an invitation to showcase our gifts and talents for good.

Is there a disappointment you can sit with? 

We are asked as stewards of our family business to lean in and be the light in a dark world.

Onward, 

Matt

P.S. My daughter still asks about the tree. I still don't have a better answer. That's the work.

P.P.S. I’m going to share next week the power of introspection and how it can help take on Goliath.