You've already spent 90% of your time with your kids
And just like that two of my kids (left side) are heading into the 2026 school year.
The slippery slope to independence and flying out of the nest is in process! The slide isn’t steep (yet) but we’re on the slide. It’s begun.
Gravity (time) will keep pushing my kids further down the slide that gets faster and faster.
The world keeps spinning. The grass keeps growing. The clock keeps ticking.
Time is so unbelievably finite and unrelenting.
Check out these unsettling charts from Sohil Bloom’s book, Five Types of Wealth, capturing the scarcity of time we have with our family:
According to this graph, when we leave our parent’s home after high school (18 years old) our time with siblings, parents, and grandparents fall off a cliff.
Now look at this graph from a parenting perspective, the most time spent with our kids is in our 30s. The decade when career can be overwhelming. The decade when our little bundles of joy are screaming at the dinner table.
I’ll admit, there are times I just want a little bit of quiet (understatement). When I zoom out with the help of this graph, these are the moments when I have them the most. The cliff begins around the age of 40 where we lose the time with our children. Extracurriculars, friends, etc.
Now, look at the years after the age of 50, there will be decades of a quiet, clean house where all we want is some screaming and some messes to trip over.
This is a problem we should solve for!
I might be idealistic and too optimistic but here’s my thoughts on this problem.
The family business can be the vehicle to increase hours per day with those we love. There might be an opportunity to increase the hours with our children if we lead our family business in a way that is life giving.
Jerry Jones, Cowboy’s owner, thought this way. He bought the Cowboys, various companies and real estate for the chance to work with his kids. Finding any way possible to get more time with them.
(I think we can do the same. Why not?!)
We don’t need to be a billionaire. We can replicate the strategy with the family business we’ve dedicated our life to! We can make our family business something they might want to pursue.
But here’s the thing.
This puts us on the hook in two ways that is really uncomfortable. (Growth is always uncomfortable.)
The first obstacle - BECOMING:
We must model a good life and be someone worth following. I’ve heard way too many next generation leaders who don’t want to become their parents. They don’t want to be all consumed by the business like their parents. They don’t see the life of their parents as worth pursuing. They want better.
I’m challenged by this idea that I need to remain interesting enough that my kids want to spend time with me. I can’t become an exhausted volcano. I can’t become the type of leader that is a wet blanket.
(That will make my kids run away from the family business so fast.)
Our kids are always watching. This is a beautiful challenge to push ourselves to be the best version of ourselves. Caught not taught.
The essence of BECOMING is fortifying our health, galvanizing our mindset, healing our hearts, and elevating our soul. This is a lifelong journey.
The second obstacle - BELONGING:
I know deep down in my heart that my deepest human desire is to be loved. I believe this to be the same for my kids, for your kids, and for all humans.
To be a part of something bigger than yourself is what my kids and your kids ultimately crave.
That’s what inspired me to make the phone call to my grandfather twelve years ago to give the family business a chance. I simply wanted more meaning. I wanted connection.
Your kids and my kids will want to be around incredible people in their 20s and 30s. They want relationships that are deep and inspiring.
The greatest challenge is building an organization that is worthy of the people within it. Creating a space where people want to be the best version of themselves. Building an organization for A players is a simple concept and probably the most difficult task a business owner can aspire to build.
Build an organization for belonging takes heart.
Don’t just build an organization that has an incentive package for the people at the tippy top to win and then those executives have to spend their entire careers trying to convince people that they should work at the company.
Just build a brick gathering hall on a hill that can shine a light.
This takes heart.
These are the two things I’m spending my life seeking to do.
Keep becoming. (best version of self)
Build belonging. (create an organization they want to show up to build better.)
Family business is the optimal vehicle to be the best version of yourself and build belonging with others.
I’m imagining (manifesting) spending eight hours per day with my kids and then my grandkids while also loving every second of the people I work alongside.
The scarcity of time can give us the sense of urgency and purpose to build something worth our time.
What small change can you make in your daily routine to start energizing yourself so you don’t become an exhausted volcano?
Keep becoming.
Onward,
Matt
PS I’m sharing a deeper dive into the tools I use for becoming and building belonging later this week giving a keynote in Wisconsin at a family business summit. If you are in Wisconsin and want to come. Shoot me an email and I can send you the details :)