Why I'm Done Setting Goals (And What I'm Doing Instead)
Fellow steward,
We’re coming to the end of the 2025 calendar year when lots of people start to set goals and resolutions for 2026.
For much of my adult life I would set ambitious personal goals going into the new year. I’d hit the ground running on January 1 refreshed. “New year, new me.”
I’m taking a different approach this new year. I’m focused on a feeling. (more on this in a little bit.)
This change in approach comes from the deeply influential book by Anthony De Mello: Awareness.
De Mello articulates the crossroads all of us face between the worldly and the soulful.
Soulful feelings:
What kind of feeling comes upon you when you’re in touch with nature, or when you’re absorbed in work that you love? Or when you’re really conversing with someone whose company you enjoy in openness and intimacy without clinging? What kind of feelings do you have?
Worldly feelings:
…Compare those feelings with the feelings you have when you win an argument, or when you win a race, or when you become popular, or when everybody’s applauding you.
Those worldly feelings are more tangible and seductive. The callings of the world simply yell louder.
De Mello continues:
…Lots of people gain the world and lose their soul. Lots of people live empty, soulless lives because they're feeding themselves on popularity, appreciation and praise, on “I'm OK, you’re OK,” look at me, attend to me, support me, value me, on being the boss, on having power, on winning the race. Do you feed yourself on that? If you do, you’re dead. You’ve lost your soul. Feed yourself on other, more nourishing material.
The things that whisper for the soul are more nourishing: nature, books, craftsmanship (our life’s work), deep conversation, and faith. (The soulful things are not engineered to distract you.)
I know I have a long way to go. I think that’s the beauty of this journey. A steward is seeking to be a little bit wiser, not necessarily wise.
The timeless truth De Mello highlights in this generous book:
“we see people and things not as they are, but as we are.”
I want to see more clearly. I want to feel more deeply. I want to be of service more. I want to keep taking off my armor to be the fullest version of myself for my family, my team, my friends, and my community.
Instead of a goal in 2026…
I’m focused on feeling alive in 2026. More soulful inputs. More growth (obstacles). More connection. More peace. More care (love). More showing up fully. (no phone.)
There will be ups. There will be downs. Remaining humble is the job of a steward. Remaining steady for our family and our business. I’m continuing to work on seeing life as happening FOR me not to me.
Thank you for being on this journey of stewardship in 2025 with me. I look forward to growing alongside you in 2026. Quiet compounding is the best type of growth.
Onward,
Matt